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          像爱一只猫一样去恋爱

          时间: 2019-04-16 | 作者:菲德尔 | 来源: 海豚文章网 | 编辑: admin | 阅读:

            分手之后,她养了一只猫。

            她一直也想养猫,过去总有很多借口,比方说同住的套房太窄小,容不下一只猫;比方说他们都忙,忙得连照顾自己,或体谅对方的时间都太奢侈了;比方说他们都容易过敏,关系也处于过敏时期。

            他们想过一起养猫,这心愿许了很久,差点没跟着分手一起埋葬。分手以后她想着,不如她来养,有点苟且地,窝藏秘密一样地,至少为这段关系保留一点什么下来。(推荐阅读:【单身日记】田馥甄式的爱情:若爱不能永恒,至少让我们愉快)

            她心想,一个未来的生命,纪念过去的感情。

            后来她搬了一处房,添购家具,挂上喜欢好久的画,选了一眼深爱的家用品,从零开始地,建构一个家的形状,这家慢慢有了她单人的气息。猫也跟着搬了进来,就这么刚好,朋友家的猫新生了一窝,问她要不要一只。她点点头。

            猫还很小,四处好奇,小小身体在空间绕来绕去。分手以后,她常感觉自己回到幼童状态,任何情绪都来得很直接,猫也是这样,饿了就喊她,想念了就蹭蹭她,觉得烦了就走开。好像很有默契地,跟她约好要一起长大一样。

            她突然觉得这样很好,她也开始觉得自己的情绪直接很好。正面的,负面的,难以理解的,她不再急着把自己的情绪关起来,而是慢慢去明白它。

            她不懂小猫的语言,小猫却好像理解她的情感,有时候夜里跑来蹭着她睡,小猫会伸出猫爪,碰碰她的手,像是在说,我在这里哟。小猫熟睡,她听着他规律的呼噜声,想着自己豢养一个生命,感受他全然的信任,也沉沉睡去,睡得很好。我在这里,你在这里,我们在这里哟。

            小猫陪她醒来,他是她清晨,看到的第一双眼睛。

            那双眼睛看着她,澄澈的没有任何怀疑。

            小猫用他的方式爱她,更多时候,她感觉到,是小猫在看顾她。大概小猫隐隐约约觉得这个大他好几倍的生物,也有她很脆弱的时候,也有把自己照顾得一团糟的时候,也有需要拥抱的时候。小猫陪她一起做梦,等待每个清晨到来,每个夜晚降临,他们两个一起慢慢长大。

            她在照料小猫的日子里,学习去建立并且拥有一段关系。不是控制,不是依赖,不是迷恋,甚至也不是拯救,而是独立地彼此需要。我一个人很好,当然也有很坏的时候,我不是因为想要避开难题,所以需要你,我只是爱你而已,没有目的,甚至也不强求结果,只是想跟你一起经过。

            她回想,这个小生命教了她许多。

            爱一个人,像爱一只猫,需要他而不勉强他,照料他而不霸占他,爱他而不控制他,让他自由,不妨碍相爱的所有可能。爱是我们长大,携手经过,谢谢你爱我,谢谢我爱你。

            每每想起,她都觉得,这是这段关系,她送给自己迟来的一份礼物。

          文章标题: 像爱一只猫一样去恋爱
          文章地址: http://www.xbtdc.com/article-95-183334-0.html
          文章标签:只猫  恋爱  像爱一
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