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          享受疼痛,生命自会找到出口

          时间: 2019-04-16 | 作者:菲德尔 | 来源: 海豚文章网 | 编辑: admin | 阅读:

            失恋让你的生命转了个弯,但人生是不能回头的旅程,我们能选择的,是继续驻足、回望,或是带着过去的回忆向前走,享受转过弯的新风景。

            有没有时候,妳也觉得人生似乎「卡住」了?

            2018 年的最后一天,妳坐在朋友家的沙发上迎接倒数:「5、4、3、2、1??耶!Happy new year」

            桌面上摆满着食物啤酒,电视画面中的烟火从101 上方飞跃而出,五彩缤纷此起彼落,妳眼睛发直地瞪着那根细长的建筑物,心中不禁试问了自己:「新的一年,真的会比较好吗?」

            去年开始,妳仿佛忽然被衰神盯上一般,无奈结束了长年的感情,不如以往的健康状态在这个2018 年也未见明显的好转,好似只剩工作乖乖地守候在妳身边,不忍心成为击溃妳意志的最后一根稻草。

            就是一个「闷」字。

            上身猛力地挣扎,但双脚却被铁链圈住,禁锢在一个狭小的半径之间,无法迈步突破。明明眼见前方有个光线通透、更加芳香,那个妳从未放弃信念要前往的远方,就在那里!但是却一步也接近不了,越努力越疲惫。

            失恋了以后,算是认真地自我疗愈,也痛彻心扉的大哭了几回,拭去眼泪的脸庞再印上了新的痕迹,这样的过程中反覆将自己撕碎再黏贴成稍微像样的人形,白日出门工作、回家继续软烂的日子,就这样大半年过去了,当妳自认为应该已经好的差不多的时候。一个准备要结束的国外旅行,妳站在即将要开启的登记门前,因为手贱又去关心了前任脸书,直觉简直灵敏地像是只狗鼻子,嗅到了新的恋情,还有几丝已经横越了暧昧的味道。此时,一把锋利的箭瞬间从远方射进了妳的胸口,妳以为自己不会再滴血了,但那都是自以为罢了。

            坐在起飞的班机上,机舱的灯随后暗了下来,妳望向窗外的黑夜开始热泪盈眶,心中暗暗发誓这将是自己最后一次为他心碎:

            「我这里天快要亮了那里呢

            我这里天气很炎热那里呢

            我这里一切都变了我变的不哭了

            我把照片也收起了而那你呢

            如果我们现在还在一起会是怎样

            我们是不是还是深爱着对方

            像开始时那样握着手就算天快亮」

            妳的心中响起了戴佩妮的一首歌《怎样》,旋律伴随飞机缓缓爬升进入云层之上,象征着这整段爱情的消逝,已经距离那年的纯真,双脚腾空的愈来愈远。真的,这是关于他的事最后一次能够伤妳的了。(你会喜欢:我不愿重复自己!专访戴佩妮:「当你能接受最好与最坏,你会变得特别勇敢」)

            那个晚上,妳并没有急着把箭拔下来,而是就让它这么继续刺在心上,深刻地感受着最后的爱与痛。

            后来也开始愿意约会了,但似乎始终无法摆脱与前任较劲的心情,这种焦虑的感受,源自于一直遇不到有感觉的对象,欣赏的对象也不见得对自己发生相同程度的好感,充其量只能说身边充斥着一些「类似爱」的感觉,关于朋友幸福的各种画面,也不时加入成为敦促自己的燃料。

            「还是想要幸?!?/p>

            与生活中不顺遂的其它时刻,总合起来的时候最为可怕,仿佛一面面跋扈而刺眼的镜子,硬是要排列并映照出妳目前孤独而失落的模样,所有幸福的可能都在小房间以外的地方,它们的确存在,但全都不属于妳。

            「魔镜啊魔镜,为何我对这个世界继续微笑,但听到的却尽是徒劳无功的声音?我继续相信幸福,却被幸福反卡死在一个境地里,走不出去是不是代表我不够好?!咕底又醒氲呐⒎⒊龅秃?,是因为她无法臣服于命运出的作业下,镜子不是别人竖立的,脚链并非由哪个混蛋铐上的,而是她自己的头脑意识。

            「亲爱的女孩,妳太急,急着想要跳船,自己游泳离开这片伤心的海洋,但不会比较快哦?!雇菉叺降桌Ф倭硕嗑?,某一刻才听到了来自魔镜(内心)的回应。

            明白了唯一的捷径就是「面对」,面对自己的伤感与单独,而不是一味地想要依靠别人来摆脱孤独。首先顺应当下的局面,一步一脚印慢慢地展开负能量释放、自我疗愈、像是个学生,最后明白了这事件背后需要妳去悟透的理,那么镜面真的会变得柔和。

            当自己的双眼开始盈溢信心,流露出自然而不勉强的能量,也就能够温柔地对待不压迫自己。渐渐的妳会发现即便直视着这些伤痕,也不会那么痛了。就是如此神奇,当妳愿意与自己开启了对话,才有机会让高墙全面倒下,而不需要所谓的钥匙也能走出去。这个Circle 无法省略、必须完成。

            或许我们都会想问:「那到底需要多久的时间才能结束?」

            我会说,把它想成一座大型溜滑梯吧!没有人知道究竟需要多久的时间才能抵达出口,但若妳能在冲力带妳向左拐的时候试图欣赏左方的景致,向右滑的时候心想:「哇!原来这里长这样子,如果没来我就永远不会知道了」,若能不用尽全力的抵抗命运,就不会成为向下找到出口的阻力,而卡住的时候也不会如此痛了,然后出口就会出现在不远处的几哩外,等待着迎接一个崭新的,犹如浴火凤凰的妳。(也推荐你:让你重新相信爱情的十首选诗:我希望时间能善待我们)

            这段过渡时期,妳也将会明白自己喜欢的人,刚好也能对妳投以相同眼光的可贵,视线刚好对上了,那绝对不是一件巧合,而是万分幸运的事。

            所以请妳先让自己的心变得健康而坚强,保持好奇,耐心等待,尽量避免脑补与陷入自怨自艾的情境,因为急着带着缺口去填补他人,或等着也有缺口的人来解救妳,都无法成就一段有品质的感情。

            爱情的先决条件终究是「爱」,唯有成为无条件爱自己与他人的人,另一个无论如何都能接住自己的人才会出现,和妳成为一个双。当妳开始决定遇见他的时候,想必他也已有感应开始行动,所以先别坠入青鸟会带妳走进幸福的泡泡里,请先相信这种爱的同步性。

          文章标题: 享受疼痛,生命自会找到出口
          文章地址: http://www.xbtdc.com/article-95-183305-0.html
          文章标签:自会  疼痛  找到

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