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          家长莫做“橡皮擦

          时间: 2019-04-15 | 作者:晓叶 | 来源: 海豚文章网 | 编辑: admin | 阅读:

            新学期开始,老师们忙了起来,各位家长更是摩拳擦掌决心让孩子不要输在起跑线上。于是乎,一场看不见的“战争”打响了,孩子像战士,老师像将帅,家长就是现场指挥。君不见,有的家长离职专做学习陪护不犹豫;君不见,有的家长四处寻找资源不停歇;君不见,有的家长全程监控不放松。我就遇到一位家长,一开学,焦虑就一下子引爆,令孩子和家人难以适应。

            这位朋友是对孩子有高期待的,孩子在班里也一直颇为优秀??д饧柑?,班里一直在测试,检查假期作业,没成想孩子表现不理想:字写得不工整、数学考得分数低、作业有个别没完成……这下朋友发疯了,一有时间就盯着孩子写作业,稍有不对,就采用撕本子、呵斥,甚至一度说出:你太让我失望。有几次,我到他楼下,就听到严厉的训斥声传出来。孩子每一次几乎都是在泪水中做完作业的,小小孩子内心该有多强大才能承受家长如此的狂轰滥炸啊。想来,就为孩子忧心,也规劝,也劝导,稍有改善。

            通过这件事情,我特别想劝各位家长不要做孩子学习路上的“橡皮擦”。

            “橡皮擦”式的家长眼睛里看到的是孩子的短处,一点点瑕疵都被家长主观放大、渲染,以至于自己情绪处在暴躁的状态。这样的家长往往在生活中喜欢追求完美,从不想落后,于是他们把孩子当做证明自己的砝码。此刻,她们是将辅导孩子当成了一种比赛,无形中与其他家长之间进行着比较,从这个角度讲,孩子不仅仅是孩子,还是她体现自身价值的工具。当目的大于过程,家长的关注点就会落在孩子某一刻表现上,而不去想孩子的之所以如此的原因和教育方式带给孩子的感受。试想一下,孩子经过一个暑假回到学校是不是要有一个适应过程?严防死守的教育辅导会带给孩子怎样的压力?如果我们是孩子,对学习还会有多大的热情?当家长朋友将自己的梦想和标准嫁接到孩子身上的时候,一定还要看看孩子面对的处境,体会一下孩子们的心情。

            “橡皮擦”式的家长内心其实也处在恐惧的状态。她们害怕失败,孩子一时的表现,就令她们不安。为了不让孩子输掉竞争力,她们拼命的配合老师,拼命的寻找资源,以至于总有“我对你那么好,你为什么还这么糟”的想法。她们喜欢用要挟的语气和孩子说话,仿佛孩子和她是有契约关系的,没有做好就等于违反了合约。在她们眼里,孩子不是成长者,而是执行者,坚决执行学习的义务不容一点差错?!胺复硪彩且恢殖沙ぁ钡慕逃砟?,在她们这里行不通,她们总用自己昨天的成长体验来控制今天鲜活的生命,没有新的路径。她们不知道孩子会清晰地感觉到父母得焦虑,并因此而变得烦躁甚至痛苦。孩子背负着沉重的精神负担前行,步履维艰。在学习路上,孩子也会害怕失败,担心表现稍差就失掉宠爱。长久如此的结果是:孩子谨小慎微,不敢尝试,不敢探索,不敢开拓,最终内心无法获得自由的舒展。

            “橡皮擦”式的家长表面看似是教师工作的坚定支持者,实则是与学校的育人目的背道而驰。比知识更为重要的是人格的成长。没有健康的人格,没有良好的习惯,孩子的成长就会遭遇麻烦。有的家长以全力配合老师为己任,每一项作业都要监督执行,一有问题,就咄咄不休,甚至不惜“以身示范”代劳。直到熬到深夜,身心俱乏,家长才稍感欣慰。孩子在这种学习生活中,会形成一种依赖,逐渐失去主动学习的欲望。有的家长朋友说:现在上学的不仅仅是孩子,还有这么多家长。精神可嘉,但方法和方式却值得商榷。关注孩子学习,并不是要成为疯狂的监督者,让孩子处在孤立无援的境地。孩子学习的兴趣、毅力、习惯远远要比一道题的对错重要。如果只是看到对错,拼命地擦来擦去,就会忽略掉那些至关重要得核心元素,无法实现真正的教育。

            家长不是监督者,而是帮助者与指导者。 给孩子一些自由学习的空间,让他们自主探索与生成,当遇到困难,家长可以提供思路;给孩子创造一种良好的学习环境,一杯水、一本书、一段音乐,都会让孩子感觉到父母的关爱;给孩子一种前行的力量,当他们沮丧,家长要鼓励,当他们骄傲,家长要提醒;允许孩子犯错,人生本来就既有经验也有教训,都是成长的必须。

          文章标题: 家长莫做“橡皮擦
          文章地址: http://www.xbtdc.com/article-95-183292-0.html
          文章标签:橡皮擦  家长
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