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          欢迎访问海豚文章网
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          喜欢的人恰好也喜欢自己是什么感觉?

          时间: 2019-04-15 | 作者:陈大力 | 来源: 海豚文章网 | 编辑: admin | 阅读:

            ?

            April 12

            “ G O O D  N I G H T ”

            

            跟朋友开玩笑说,我最听不得双向暗恋的故事了,为什么,因为会嫉妒。

            反正我主动喜欢的人,几乎没有一个,是也喜欢我的。这是我的感情生活的长期主题。以前我给喜欢的男生送手套……都快开春了我也不知道我为什么要送手套,但我送了,那时他有点不愿意地接过去,没看我的眼睛,飞快地说“谢谢”,然后回头走了。

            是的,只有很轻的“谢谢”两个字。

            回头回得太快我连他表情都看不到的。

            有时候我会觉得他甚至会忘掉我叫什么。我对他来说太无足轻重了。

            是的,就可怜成这个样子,还是要喜欢,还是喜欢好久。真的绝。后来我跟朋友讨论,我说我怀疑我是因为那个时候太闲,不得不找个人喜欢,而且一喜欢上,生活中90%都是他,剩下10%才是自己。为什么他明明不喜欢我我还那么投入?闲出来的,不知道自己要做什么。

            “忙的时候就不一样,你看我这周末,同一天参加两个活动,一个线上一个线下,哪有时间想别的?!?/p>

            

            

            之前问一个跟男朋友双向暗恋成为情侣的朋友,喜欢的人恰好喜欢自己是什么感觉,她说,开心,又不敢相信,像飘起来了,什么事儿都不想做,只觉得自己好幸运。

            是羡慕的,所以不断地在她面前感叹“真好啊”。

            但说实话,羡慕归羡慕……我也不会因此觉得自己的人生缺了什么。

            我有没有渴望得到一个人的爱的时候,有。甚至不少。我从不怀疑我需要爱。但我没办法觉得我的人生可以“就停在被人喜欢这里”。

            没有爱的人生我也不愿过??伞爸挥邪娜松蔽揖醯煤芸?。

            听到一个朋友说,现在的工作做着毫无乐趣,但一直犹豫,不想换工作进入一个前景更好的行业,因为怕没有时间陪男朋友。我说那也不至于那么忙。

            她说,可是……比如让我出差之类的,我会很难过,我为什么不能跟我男朋友一起,他会不会觉得我不爱他。

            唉。

            当然每个人想过的日子不一样。但谈恋爱那么重要吗,我是说,重要到好像人生的其他版块必须围绕着它打转。

            

            后台有很多关于“得不到爱的人”的提问,我的看法是什么,能得到一个人的爱当然很好,可是,“一个人的爱也太小太小了”。这个世界是很大的,你还可以拥抱很多,很多你没想过的,你甚至没梦见过的事物,情节,你的人生可以好棒好棒,棒到,最后有没有那个人的拥抱,真的无足轻重了。

            太年轻的时候只想留住爱,因为“那是我们唯一知道的东西”,但爱…没有那么重要。

            如果你见过霓虹,你会想要再闪耀一点,如果你见过高山,你会想要摸到那里的云,如果你见过诗人,你也会想要创造自己的一部作品,你也想要被别人看着书页,轻轻念起你的名字。

            我送手套的那个男生,对我很苛刻,我是真的没被他爱过的,可很久以后再回想,这反而成了很欣慰的事儿,谢谢你没爱我,让我可以“跑开”,跑着跑着,我发现,原来我可以出书,我的文字可以被更多人看到,如果我顺利地谈了恋爱,我可能不会继续写作。

            有些缺憾反而是另一扇门。

            生活从来就不是爱与不爱占主导的事情,更重要的是我们自己可以活成什么样子,我离开了长大的那个小镇,我遇见了更多跟我一样野心勃勃的人,坐在丽思卡尔顿的下午茶餐厅里,望出去是密密麻麻数也数不清的高楼,我有点泪目,我高三跟朋友们看《小时代》,想也没想过有一天自己会在上海过上完全不一样的人生。

            我这几年的日子实在是不浪漫极了,但我无比喜欢自己。我做了什么呢,我出了两本书,有了自己的团队,我的文字可以在各种各样的地方被看到,我甚至开始带着别人追梦,找到了几个认真写字的女孩儿,她们写出的文字越来越成熟,有的上了热搜,有的被杂志转载……这种感觉比我自己进步还要好。

            我终于从以前那种“你到底爱不爱我”的声嘶力竭里走了出来,我终于开始心平气和地,朝“我想要过上的人生”走去了。

            没被喜欢能怎么样呢,其实也没有那么需要你的喜欢,被你喜欢很好,是我得不到的那种好,但没有你的喜欢,我的人生也已经够好了,是我得到了的,可以向每个人骄傲地讲起的好。

            姐妹们,没被喜欢的人喜欢真的没关系,难过是肯定的,但也不用觉得万念俱灰,干嘛呀,我要郑重地说,这真不算什么事儿。

            你还可以过上很棒很棒很棒的人生。

            你还可以遇见你想也想不到的出众的完美的人。

            你会在更多的地方心碎,但你照样会走出来,你终将在一次又一次怀疑中找到自己的天分,你会在某个地方被人赏识,活得跟霓虹一样好看,你会摸到高山上的云,那是你以为你永远不会看见的美景。

            那个人彻彻底底不会属于你,但,又怎样呢。

            那会影响我们过上自己喜欢的人生吗?

            END

            今日插图 |《Kate & Leopold

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          文章标题: 喜欢的人恰好也喜欢自己是什么感觉?
          文章地址: http://www.xbtdc.com/article-95-183276-0.html
          文章标签:的人  喜欢  感觉
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